“This
bill has been a long time coming,” said Abbott. “We need to flatten the
curve of people being a bunch of Californians. That means everyone needs to
wear a proper hat at all times and be a true Texan. Yee-haw!”
With
this bill, anyone seen out in public without a cowboy hat will be approached by
a Texas Ranger, who will say, “You ain’t from around here, are ya?” before
tossing the offender across the state line.
The
bill was mainly met with wide support. “Anytime you see someone near you
without a cowboy hat, you feel unsafe,” said Tex Brewer, a Texan. “You wonder
what that guy is up to. Is he going to raise my taxes or take my AR-15? I don’t
cotton to that.”
The
bill did receive some pushback, though. “Hat’s itchy,” said one man.
There
will be some exceptions to the cowboy hat mandate, such as if your hat was just
shot off your head in a showdown. There is also a mask mandate, but that only
applies when you are robbing a bank or train.
