Ted Cruz's Top Five Bull Hockey Lies

Republican presidential hopeful Ted Cruz is caricatured as Pinocchio, with a maple leaf on his nose, as the News debunks his five biggest lies.

And Ted might think we’ll fall for the bull he’s spreading like manure about those he says aren't 110% American — which a lawsuit contends he himself is not. But he won’t.

Ted Cruz is selling bull---t as though it’s Grade A beefsteak with so little regard for not just New Yorkers but the rest of America because he believes we’re all stupid enough to buy it and worse, eat it.

Here then, are Texas Ted’s top lies:

Ted’s Texas Bulls--- #5

Ted wants to ban Syrian refugees, and deport illegal immigrants.

Grade A Truth # 5

Ted’s refugee father Rafael, who fought alongside Fidel Castro, bribed his way into this country, was granted political asylum, got a green card, ungratefully moved to Canada, became a Canadian citizen, and had a son, Canadian-born Ted. Ted Cruz prides himself on being anti-Wall Street. The problem? His wife works for Goldman Sachs.

Ted’s Texas Bulls--- #4

Ted said: “There are not a lot of Conservatives coming out of Manhattan.”

Grade A Truth #4

Ted said this while on the stage of the Fox Business Network, a subsidiary of Fox News, the most conservative, influential cable news network — which is headquartered in Manhattan.

Ted’s Texas Bulls--- #3

Ted is so anti-gay that he proposed overturning gay rights in D.C. and is 100% against gay marriage.

Grade A Truth #3

In April, Ted was hosted at a dinner by the gay Manhattan hotel tycoons Mati Weiderpass and Ian Reisner, owners of the city’s gay Out Hotel and accepted accepted a $2,700 donation from Resiner.

Given the whopping lies Cruz has been putting out there in order to get elected, maybe he should consider changing that "Trusted" sign in the background.

Ted’s Texas Bulls--- #2

Ted is anti-Wall Street; aligned with the Tea Party over the housing collapse and the government bank bailout.

Grade A Truth #2

Ted’s wife, Heidi, is a managing director at Goldman Sachs (currently on leave), which took a $10 billion government bailout! Cruz earned a million bucks a year from his law firm, and the Cruzes took low-interest loans from Goldman Sachs and Citibank that he failed to report.

Ted’s Texas Bulls--- #1

“New York City (values) are socially liberal or pro-abortion or pro-gay marriage, (and) focus around money and the media.”

Grade A Truth # 1

NYC is socially humane and human-driven, success-oriented (as are all Americans) and media aware, because we are proudly the media capitol of the world. Duh.

And Texas Ted’s not averse to New York dough. He’s just sent out a letter begging New Yorkers for more, and has collected $11,459,058 from the super pac of Robert Mercer (from the Nassau/Suffolk area) and $486,795 in donations from the rest of New York, including $266,251 from the metro area. No bull, Ted: Give it back.

Don’t count on it. The guy’s as disingenuous as he is despicable.

You can’t make chateaubriand out of cowpatties any more than you can make chicken salad out of chickensh-t.

So from New York to Texas Ted: Screw you and the horse you rode in on. Yeehaw!