2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the
3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the
country, and who are very good at crossword puzzles.
4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country
5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running
the country, if they could find the time and if they didn't have to leave
Southern California to do it.
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the
country and did a poor job of it.
7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's
running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a seat
8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who is running
the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably
9. The Chicago Tribune is read by people that are in prison that used
to run the state, & would like to do so again, as would their constituents
10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country,
11. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure if
there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all
12. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the
13. The Seattle Times is read by people who have recently caught a fish